Giving My Life Away

Our church has a ministry that reaches out to the homeless in Fort Worth once a month.   Since we started attending this church last May, I’ve felt a  draw to that ministry, but I never actually  DID anything –  until this past Christmas.

On a typical Christmas  day  in our family, we’d open gifts until nearly noon because my kids want to play with each new treasure as it is discovered.   We’d talk on the phone to all of the extended relatives, have a bit to eat, and then spend the afternoon pigging out on Christmas candy while playing with the new stuff or vegging out in front of the television.   It has been a fun, albeit self-centered, way of life for us.

This past Christmas, we knew things would be different.   When  a family loses two of it’s Steel Magnolias in one year, it takes a long time to find the “new normal” and holidays are “a whole  ’nother animal.”   I knew that without them, we’d feel a gaping hole in our day.   I knew that Granny and Aunt Jo were safe in the Father’s arms, but I couldn’t say the same for  those who live on the streets near the Union Gospel Mission in Fort Worth.

I told my friend, that’s why we decided to spend Christmas day with the homeless.   I knew that if we stayed home we’d end up spending the day moping around and feeling sorry for ourselves.   Instead we had the opportunity to serve.   We had the opportunity become witnesses for Christ.   We got to share His love on His birthday, and hopefully we’d be able to be salt and light for someone, and maybe even point some to Jesus.

Looking back, my motives were entirely selfish.   I wanted to be busy.   I didn’t want to feel my loss while sitting at home, so I’d go help someone else who had lost more than just a loved one.   I’d be able to come home feeling all warm and fuzzy because of my “great deed”.   And the next day, I’d be able to carry on with life as usual.

Things didn’t work out quite as planned, thank goodness. God has shown me since then, that yes, I did get to serve and be a witness, and that’s a good thing.   But there is no “carrying on with life as usual.”   Christmas day, we saw  there is more – there is more work to do, more people to help, more to give, more to serve.

My dad and I had a conversation last week about #37 on the “All That Matters” list.   He joked that I shouldn’t tell Hubby that I feel like I have enough money to be truly satisfied.   I told him that I know we don’t have money to vacation non-stop or buy  everything our hearts desire or retire anytime soon.   We won’t be topping the Forbes list  in this lifetime.   But, we have enough  to  pay the bills, enough to put food on the table, enough to clothe our family, enough for a few toys, enough to save some, enough to give  away some, enough to know that God has blessed  us beyond measure.

I shared with Dad that this year, my goal is to give my life away.   I want to find ways that I can give.   Hidden under the “Spiritual Goals” section of my 2009 goal list.   It says “Give my time, money and self to those in need.”   I want to help others in a way that matters. And most importantly, I want to actually do it – not just talk about it. If I had to pick only one thing on my goal list that I want to do this year – this is the one.     Today, I took a step,   I sponsored a child with Compassion International.   I can hardly wait to learn more about five-year-old Beranger.    I hope that  our family  can directly impact his life in Burkina Faso.   But even more than that, I can hardly wait to see what God is going to do.