As a parent, the days are long…but the years are short.

Particularly, thoughts about children in church and Children’s church – and all the many combinations thereof.

First, let me share with you how this whole conversation got started.   A couple of weeks ago, I attended a leadership meeting for KidRidge.   KidRidge is the name for the children’s ministry at our church.   The church has grown considerably, which is wonderful.   However, this growth necessitates some changes – things that worked with a handful of kids don’t work the same with nearly 100 kids.   So, we’ve had a couple of meetings and brainstorming sessions on the future and the vision for KidRidge.

Yesterday, Rachel, one of the team members, sent this link (click here) for everyone on the team to read and asked that we respond.

Go read it.

Really.

Go ahead, I’ll wait.   It’s worth the read.

Mkay, you back now?   What did you think?   Are you like me going “Wow.   Oh, wow.”   “But, what should we..” “How can we…” “I wonder if…”   And about a billion other thoughts all running around and bumping into each other.

Some of the questions she asked, won’t let me go.

“Our sons are never in church with us. Isn’t that weird?”

“Is that good?”

“What do you think the boys think of when they think of church?”

“Do they think of the group of people God wants to use to reach the world with the gospel…this large, multicultural, multigenerational body where we learn from one another…young and old learn from one another….serve each other and live out all the beauty of scripture with one another?”

Or

“Do they think of the age segregated programs…their “class” or AWANA?”

“Do they feel apart of the church?”

“Do we see them as a part of the church, or just a problem that needs to be solved so you and I, mom and dad can be in church?”

“Are they so used to having an extravagant program every time they set foot in the door, that if the programs were taken away, they would go from loving church to hating it?”

“Is that good? Does that mean we’ve taught them to love church…or taught them to love something else?”

“Are we growing them up in top notch children’s programs with teaching yes…wonderful teaching…but also a lot of games, activities, in some churches puppets, concert-like music, dancing and drama only to get annoyed at them years later as we wonder why our church is so consumer driven and our congregation thinks church is a place to be entertained? Are we teaching them to think the church is “all about me” and then getting irritated years down the road that our church is filled with people who think church is all about them?”

“Have we in some ways delegated discipleship to the church when the Bible clearly says that’s our jobs as their parents? I know the church can help, but we aren’t doing anything at home to teach them God’s Word…so if we’re honest is the church helping or have we made them fully responsible for teaching our children about the Lord? If so is once-a-week discipleship enough for our kids when the Bible has already told us how often to teach them His Word?”

So many questions.   But I really think these are good questions, and they are ones that need to be asked.   I’m hoping we can find answers.

When I read through it the second or third time, I recalled my experience with church as a child.

The church of my childhood – well, as I recall, and I was a child so it very well could be that the memory is inaccurate. But in my memory, we started going to church when I was about 10.   Mainly because I bugged my parents into it.   Again, the memory could be faulty, but I remember asking if I could go play at so-and-so’s house.   I’d receive the response, “No, they’re at church.”   So, I’d ask “Then can I go play at whozit’s house?”   Same response, “No, they’re at church.”     After hearing this a number of times I finally asked, “Well, why aren’t we at church?”   And, lo and behold, we ended up at church.

We started attending the local Presbyterian church, because my mom had gone to a Presbyterian church when she was a child.   Some have referred to the Presbyterians as being the “Frozen Chosen.”     I’d say in my experiences of church, that would be a pretty accurate term.   We would go to Sunday School, and then most families would go sit together for the 11:00 service.   Both of my parents sang in the choir, so I would usually go sit by myself.   As an adult, I don’t remember any the messages, but I do remember the order of the service.

Occasionally, when we’d visit Granny and Grandaddy’s house we would go the their church.   First Baptist Church of Flint, Texas.   I remember liking their church better than ours, because I didn’t feel like the Pastor was trying to talk 8-miles above my head.   I understood his message, what he said had relevance to me, it mattered.   It caused me to have feelings that I never had in the church at home.     I remember vividly, one Sunday during the alter call, my heart leaped inside my chest.   I understood what he said.   I understood that I was a sinner, and that I needed to ask Jesus into my heart so that he could be my Savior, and that I would be saved.   I wanted to walk down that aisle.   I wanted to go tell the preacher that “I believe!”   I wanted to be a Christian in the true sense of the word.   But, the ways I had learned from the “frozen chosen” kept me in my seat.   So I sat silently longed for something, something more.

Funny.   I’d forgotten most of that until I read the post Rachel sent.   Looking back, I wish I would have had the courage to stand up and walk the aisle as a child instead of waiting to make that profession of faith when I was 30.

However, this reminds me that we don’t need a big, fancy program to reach the hearts of the kids at church.   We just need to present the Gospel in a real and relevant way.   Sure the programs are cool, and yes, they teach the great stories of the Bible, and yes, they help kids apply Biblical knowledge to their everyday life, and yes, I think programs can be good and valuable tools.

But I wonder -

are we putting too much emphasis the program, and forgetting about the True Message?

is the program so busy and fun that the True Message is getting lost in the presentation?

are we just looking for a place to “park the kids” while the grown ups do church?

I wish I had the answers.

Things to think about.   Lots of things to think about.

Hey, if you have any answers or thoughts you’d like to share – I would love to read them.

PS:   There’s a great follow-up post to the link above.   If you want to read it, you can find it here.

Our church has a ministry that reaches out to the homeless in Fort Worth once a month.   Since we started attending this church last May, I’ve felt a  draw to that ministry, but I never actually  DID anything –  until this past Christmas.

On a typical Christmas  day  in our family, we’d open gifts until nearly noon because my kids want to play with each new treasure as it is discovered.   We’d talk on the phone to all of the extended relatives, have a bit to eat, and then spend the afternoon pigging out on Christmas candy while playing with the new stuff or vegging out in front of the television.   It has been a fun, albeit self-centered, way of life for us.

This past Christmas, we knew things would be different.   When  a family loses two of it’s Steel Magnolias in one year, it takes a long time to find the “new normal” and holidays are “a whole  ’nother animal.”   I knew that without them, we’d feel a gaping hole in our day.   I knew that Granny and Aunt Jo were safe in the Father’s arms, but I couldn’t say the same for  those who live on the streets near the Union Gospel Mission in Fort Worth.

I told my friend, that’s why we decided to spend Christmas day with the homeless.   I knew that if we stayed home we’d end up spending the day moping around and feeling sorry for ourselves.   Instead we had the opportunity to serve.   We had the opportunity become witnesses for Christ.   We got to share His love on His birthday, and hopefully we’d be able to be salt and light for someone, and maybe even point some to Jesus.

Looking back, my motives were entirely selfish.   I wanted to be busy.   I didn’t want to feel my loss while sitting at home, so I’d go help someone else who had lost more than just a loved one.   I’d be able to come home feeling all warm and fuzzy because of my “great deed”.   And the next day, I’d be able to carry on with life as usual.

Things didn’t work out quite as planned, thank goodness. God has shown me since then, that yes, I did get to serve and be a witness, and that’s a good thing.   But there is no “carrying on with life as usual.”   Christmas day, we saw  there is more – there is more work to do, more people to help, more to give, more to serve.

My dad and I had a conversation last week about #37 on the “All That Matters” list.   He joked that I shouldn’t tell Hubby that I feel like I have enough money to be truly satisfied.   I told him that I know we don’t have money to vacation non-stop or buy  everything our hearts desire or retire anytime soon.   We won’t be topping the Forbes list  in this lifetime.   But, we have enough  to  pay the bills, enough to put food on the table, enough to clothe our family, enough for a few toys, enough to save some, enough to give  away some, enough to know that God has blessed  us beyond measure.

I shared with Dad that this year, my goal is to give my life away.   I want to find ways that I can give.   Hidden under the “Spiritual Goals” section of my 2009 goal list.   It says “Give my time, money and self to those in need.”   I want to help others in a way that matters. And most importantly, I want to actually do it – not just talk about it. If I had to pick only one thing on my goal list that I want to do this year – this is the one.     Today, I took a step,   I sponsored a child with Compassion International.   I can hardly wait to learn more about five-year-old Beranger.    I hope that  our family  can directly impact his life in Burkina Faso.   But even more than that, I can hardly wait to see what God is going to do.